My oven didn’t preheat for long enough. Apparently. Because I am still pregnant. Yes, a week over my due date. And yes, I’m sure of my dates. 3 ultrasounds in 2 countries both confirmed a due date of the 14th of September.
If you don’t want to listen to complaining about pregnancy, then you might want to click to somewhere else. 
This isn’t my first time around the overdue bush… Nora was a week late as well. Although it would seem that Cole is going to outlast her.
So, in honor of being overdue, I thought I would do a top 10 list. Actually, 2 top 10 lists. We’ll start with the more positive top ten list. If you have anything to add to either list, feel free to drop it in the comments!
Top 10 encouraging words for pregnant women who are overdue (in no particular order):
1. “I’m so sorry that you are uncomfortable.”
2. “I’m praying for you.” (And then actual do pray, don’t just say that you are)
3. “I hope he comes soon,” or, “I can’t wait for him to be here!” Thanks, me too!
4.
Um, sorry, turns out this is going to be a top 3 list, because I can’t think of anything else.
Now for the more cathartic top 10 list.
Top 10 things NOT to say to a pregnant woman who is overdue (from least offensive to most grievous)* **:
1. “Well, you look great.” Compared to what??? The biggest waddling peguin that you’ve ever seen??? Someone so pumped full of water that it looks like they are going to explode??
It makes me wonder what I look like on a normal basis if this looks good.
2. “What does your doctor/ midwife say?” Um, she says that the baby is still in there and obviously doesn’t want to come out.
3. “Eat spicy food.” Seriously, who ever ate spicy food and went into labor immediately after? Bring on the tums, please.
4. “There’s only one way for the baby to come out.” Helpful… can we just get it over with already?
5. “What’s the rush?” Um, my pubic bone that feels like it is going to snap in half or the itchy rash developing in my ever increasing stretch marks that’stherush.
6. “Are you having any contractions?” I love my husband dearly and he has been SO incredibly helpful recently, but if he asks me one more time if I’m having contractions, so help me…
7. Something to the effect of, “You’ll wish you were just pregnant when the baby is 6 months old, or keeping you up at night, etc.” Just don’t go there, k?
8. “It’s all in the Lord’s timing.” Yes, in my heart of hearts, I know this to be true, but please refer to pubic bone and stretch mark rash comment in number 5.
9. “You’ll miss being pregnant.” You know, I have even said this to someone who was overdue a baby. And I repent in sackcloth and ashes.
10. “Is the baby here yet?” NO. Seriously, if you ask again, the baby is going to be 2 years old until we tell you he has been born.
*Now, all that to say, I am SO excited for this baby to get here. And I realize that it is a BLESSING that I can even get pregnant in the first place and carry a baby to full term and ultimately get to deliver a fat healthy baby.
As well:
**This is (somewhat, haha) all in jest and I appreciate any attempt at being kind that has been made to me personally in the past week, even if what was something from my top 10 list.
For those of you wondering, why haven’t they induced you? Well, they don’t really do that here in Scotland unless medically neccessary, or unless you are 2 weeks past your due date. Which, honestly, as much complaining as I’ve been doing, is fine by me. I’d rather the baby decide when he’s ready to come out, and I think pitocin is from the pit of hades. And I can say that, because I had it with my labor with Alanna.
Hopefully Cole will arrive soon, but if not, he’ll get his final eviction on Thursday, which is when I have an induction date. My midwife was generous and allowed me to set a date for 10 days past my due date. Which is about as far as I’d like to leave it since they don’t do ultrasounds for women that are overdue.
Seriously, I hope my next post is a baby post. Confetti may pop out of your computer screen when the birth announcement is made.
Sarah W. said
In reference to your list, when I was very pregnant with Chloe (not THIS pregnant)….a friend who had just delivered said, “Everyone says that life is easier with the baby in your belly than out, but I am sleeping way more now that he’s out.” So people are off to say being pregnant is easier. Pregnant is NEVER easier, in my mind.
I hope Cole comes NOW!!!!!
Hilary said
Ha ha, so I’m going to come clean as the friend to whom you said, “You’ll miss being pregnant.” I think that was said sometime in our conversation when I had been in labor for 30 hours and then it just stopped suddenly. I’m glad you’re repenting in sackcloth and ashes. Ha ha ha, just kidding! However, that being said, I had not had nearly as long and rough a pregnancy as you, AND didn’t have two others I was trying to keep up with while dealing with said pregnancy. I’m glad that you have the due date set. I too, think pitocin is devil juice, but you’ve survived it once, I did too, and you’ll survive it again. But I’m praying you don’t have to. Come on, little buddy!!!!
Janna Fisher said
hahahahahaha!
Jaime said
Oh goodness… I hope he comes soon! soon! soon!! I remember how hard the last part is (not exactly looking forward to it). And I’m not sure that you’ll EVER really miss being pregnant. I’m pretty sure I won’t and I’m just 12 weeks right now. I’m super excited for you guys. Can’t wait to see beautiful pictures of him.
Erin said
ok, for what it’s worth… you’re a really FUNNY overdue pregnant woman! And I remember thinking most of these thoughts when Nathan was late. So I feel you. On the pitocin thing, too — ELIXIR OF SATAN.
and I totally did the spicy food thing. And, um… other stuff. It worked after about 8 hours, but who knows if that was just coincidence or not.
If you’re bored, you can come wager a guess at Beanie’s birth date, and if you’re right you win a prize. I will totally forgive you if you guess a date a week after she’s due.
mark said
okay, check out the link below and every time you hear the word ‘mole’ change it in your head for ‘baby’ and you’ll have some idea of how i’m gonna feel whenever i see you until cole is born.
Wendy c said
Literally lol. Hilarious!!! So glad the wait is over and the non stop hug and kisses have begun! Enjoy
Erin said
ok, guest post is done, thanks for being willing to share! I also put in a plug for your photography site (you’ll still be doing that when you get back to the states, right? if not I’ll take it out) and a picture of Cole with your site name on it.
You ROCK, thanks for all your supportive comments this week!!